Clinging to Beauty
I stepped out the door.
Immediately, the weight dropped off my chest as if the door frame had a magical veil that peeled all my stresses off and didn’t let them follow me outside. I was finally able to catch my breath. The outdoor atmosphere was calm…still.
Inside was loud and anxiety-inducing. Everything that I didn’t get done and needed to do was staring me in the face. The kids were screaming. The dogs were barking. Everyone demanded attention and needed something. With every inch of progress I made, someone or something made another mess, more work, another step backward. There was so much to do, I didn’t know where to even start. The overwhelm was paralyzing. I needed to escape.
It’s easier to breathe outside. God’s beautiful artwork highlights the sky and dots the ground. I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly. As I exhaled, I pictured all my problems leaving with my breath. I was paused, frozen in time, clinging to God’s creation as an escape from the stresses of life.
I see a fluffy bumble bee landing on a small yellow flower. If I listen closely, I can hear its soft buzz. I see a squirrel running up the side of a tree, shaking its fluffy tail. The light breeze rustles the trees. It’s these glimmers of beauty that help me manage to get through each day…a temporary break from the “real” world. The world can be a difficult place. The world can be a beautiful place. There is a tension between the two extremes. Sometimes a quick reminder of the beauty that exists is just what I need to be able to show up better for the world, for my family.
I step back into the house, a bit more regulated, my heart and mind no longer bouncing around. The noise is still there. The unfinished housework is still there. The constant questions and unmet needs are still there. It’s me that’s different.
I allowed the peace of God to penetrate my soul while basking in His creation. Although God is with me everywhere I go, it is harder for me to let Him in when there’s chaos and demands pouring into me instead. So I’m intentional about picking out the snippets of joy throughout the day, knowing that each one is provided by God Himself.
I hear a giggle in the living room, and I know God wants me to take hold of this kind of beauty too. I see my dog on the couch begging me with her eyes to come to pet her. She’s curled up next to my favorite fuzzy blanket and throw pillow. There’s a book on the end table. My kids decide to build a fort. My heart longs to find beauty even amongst the chaos. I decide the chores and to-do lists can wait. I am needed elsewhere right now.
Megan grew up in rural Wisconsin, where she was always known as the quiet girl with a book in her hands. Now Megan is working on her lifelong dream of becoming the author of her very own book. Out of her own struggle with trauma and mental health, she created the Jordan Crossings Blog to empower those who are healing from trauma and educate Christians on how to minister to those who are hurting.
